I don’t like weak women. Those with little to no self esteem, who spend their time wondering what is wrong with them when things don’t go as expected. The ones that try to conform to someone else’s paradigm just to fit in.
When did these girls stop heeding the advice to just be yourself?
Alissa is very independent and that’s because I encourage her to be. I don’t tolerate negative self-talk (from either of us). It’s not okay for her to say she’s stupid when she makes a mistake or stumbles over a homework problem. I remind her that she’s a smart girl and is capable of figuring it out.
She spent the last two weeks of her summer vacation in Oregon with family. She took the flight all on her own and the adventure was solely hers. She came back so much more mature than before she left.
There is a huge difference between raising an independent, mature girl and having one grow up too fast. I really believe that the latter is an effect of not raising a strong girl—they work so much harder to fit in and act more grown-up than their peers, making choices that, in their adolescent brains, seem to be ok.
My daughter knows that she is loved just as she is and we often give her the freedom to make her own choices. We want her to play a team sport this year, so we gave her options on which sports she might like to try. She chose the two that sounded the most appealing to check out. If she enjoys herself, we will continue to support her efforts. If not, we’ll give her a new set of activities to choose from.
This kind of empowerment also fosters her decision-making skills. She so thoughtfully weighs each decision she makes. When the dates of her Oregon trip overlapped with a visit from my mom, I presenter Alissa with the facts and asked what she would like to do. She carefully weighed the options and came up with a reasonable solution that allowed her to do both. She spent a few days with my mom, then made her way to Oregon.
Empowering our girls (and boys) will lead to a generation of thoughtful leaders and adults who are willing to recognize their own worth. With any luck, the victim mentality that is so prevalent in our society will dissipate and our future generation will always strive to be the amazing people they know they can be.