I’m not exactly sure what it was about this birthday that has been challenging me. I was apprehensive about it a good six months ago, and even now, almost three weeks in, I’m still not sure I fully accept it. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve hit another half-decade milestone or if I had some subconscious expectation of what my life would look like at this point that has yet to be met.
All I know is it’s been hard.
Physically, although in decent shape, despite having two bad shoulders thanks to two (unrelated) acts of clumsiness, I just feel old. My body aches, I don’t recover from exercise as well, and when I get sick, I am down for the count (thank you, Norovirus for a
wonderful hellish week in January). Emotionally, I’m dealing with a lot of grown up things, from family drama to financial woes and work worries. But none of it is unmanageable by any means. I can still rise each day and put a positive outlook on life – even if I’m aided by medication to be able to do so.
I’ve begun to be more intentional in what I eat, who I spend time with, and even what I do in my downtime.
So I continue to be perplexed as to why this birthday is so bothersome for me. Hopefully I can put a finger on it. Maybe you can help me shed some light with your comments.