eunice ann

tales of a girl trying to make sense of it all.

I did it!

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Well folks, I know you have all been watching my downward spiral over the past couple of years, up to and including the moment about a year ago that I needed to take a step back and re-evaluate my life. I think I actually knew long before I admitted it out loud that I needed to stop, but pride, gosh darn it, got the better of me.

I didn’t come back home easily or with a glad heart. And I know that I have bitched about it being difficult and miserable. Some days, it still is.

But I persevered.

I recently took a job, solely because of where I thought it would get me in life, that wasn’t the best offer on the table, or even the first. It was funny how I spent six weeks applying for jobs and interviewing and desperately trying to find a job with no luck, and one day, as I was driving up to Denver, I got three offers between Flagstaff and Santa Fe. I spent the weekend chewing it over, and decided to accept the position that not only was the lowest-paying, it was a part-time gig to boot. But it had the most potential.

And for those of you that know that I’ve had as many jobs as I’ve had addresses in the past four years (a LOT), to have potential is the key to me finding happiness.

My gamble paid off.

On Sunday, I was asked to step into a full-time role and work more directly with the marketing department of our company. Marketing!! I gladly said yes, figuring that it would be more of the same type of work I’ve been doing the past couple of weeks. Today, I learned that I am taking on a full-fledged assistant role and will be responsible for not only the design of print materials, but getting our social media presence going!

It only took me two years, but I finally cracked into the field I’ve been trying to break for some time. That feels amazing.

Sometimes, you have to take a step back before you can move forward.

Major Fail.

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Yesterday morning, I decided it would be fun to catch my Dodgers play one of their last spring training games, now that they play in AZ. I packed Alissa in the car, along with all of our Dodger gear and took her to the Valley to experience her first ever Dodger game.

When I first found out that I was having a girl four years ago, I bought a pink Dodger hat for her, knowing that it would be a few years before she grew into it and was old enough to take to a game. She wore her little hat proudly yesterday and was filled with excitement as we made our way to the stadium. She was so cute and I was stoked.

As we sat in traffic, waiting to get into the parking lot, I saw a sign on one corner – “event sold out.” No. No. No…this can’t be happening. Sold out? Who cares about a stupid spring training game?

Well, me and ten thousand other people. I combed the parking lot and couldn’t even find so much as a scalper to scrounge a couple of extra tickets. So I turned the car around. When I had to tell Alissa what happened, she lost it.

An all out temper tantrum ensued, crying, screaming and kicking included. “Mom! I want to go to the baseball game! I wanna go! I wanna gooooooooooooooooooooo!!” More crying and screaming, a couple of huffs and then in the most disdainful voice possible, “Mom, you’ve ruined my first Dodger game.”

Okay, that was a knife straight to the heart.

I didn’t even think to buy tickets ahead of time. I had thought about maybe going a few weeks ago, but didn’t know for sure if I could. I’m used to buying tickets to Rockies games, where you can walk up five minutes before the game and have your pick of the best seats in the house. I didn’t expect at all that the event would be sold out.

Fortunately, I was able to rectify the situation with lunch at Red Robin and a dip in the pool, but I tell you, I felt like the world’s worst mom. On the bright side, I am now prepared so I don’t screw up the trip I have planned for Disneyland next summer.

These are the moments I love being a parent.

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Achy Breaky PonyAlissa has definitely hit the point of her life where she likes to push the limits. She clearly knows right from wrong and has figured out how to manipulate to get her way. Which means that at not even four, she’s already just like I was at 15. Oh, the parental curse. I’m screwed.

But tonight, when I went in to tuck her in for bed, only to find two pair of scissors on the bed, along with a few snippets of doll hair, I had to find which poor doll got the treatment, only to find that five of them got it. Frantically, I searched to see if any of my original ponies got clipped, to find that they hadn’t (although one of them, I had given a hair cut once upon a time). As I started to yell at her for having scissors (she knows she’s not supposed to use scissors without permission or supervision) and destroying her toys, I looked down at this one to notice the shape of the cut – a first class mullet.

I immediately started laughing so hard, I pretty much lost all of my firm parental scolding credibility, but the laugh was worth it. And in the moment, I realized that as mad as I was that she ruined her toys, I loved her so much for her innocence in it all. And I think that is what it’s all about.

Still on my Rocky Mountain high

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If there’s anything that could make me more homesick for Denver than the amazing two weeks I just spent there, I don’t want to know what it is.
The past two weeks of my life were awesome. I had a great show, my display at the restaurant was extended, I got to see a number of friends I miss…a girl couldn’t ask for much more. Except a steady paying job and a reasonably priced place to rent?

I’ve been back 24 hours and I am so depressed that I had to leave.

Oh Denver, how I have missed you…

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I arrived in Denver 9 days ago for a marathon week for both my show for Denver Arts Week and for the charity art show I put on for my church.

From the moment I awoke Friday morning (after rolling in at 2 am), I was glad to be back “home.” It felt good. It felt right.

It was great to catch up with some of my friends and get an idea of what I needed to get done in the course of a week.

I had a few clients booked for the week and really enjoyed the shoots. I celebrated a friend’s new condo and met another friend’s new baby. I went to MY church and had lunch with friends. I even went emergency car shopping with a friend. It has been like old times again, as though I haven’t been gone for seven months.

It makes me not want to leave. I already extended my stay by a week, but let’s face it – I can’t stay here at my friend’s house forever. Maybe this week, I will go apartment shopping and figure out what I can afford and start planning the transition back.

It’s a mixed bag…

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The summer is winding down and it’s time for me to begin my transition back to Colorado. Thing is, as much as I want to go back, I’m not ready. Part of it is financial — I haven’t been able to save as much as I wanted to this summer, so moving back will take some extra work to be able to do it in the next month or two.

Part of it is that I have just been having so darn much fun that I kinda don’t want it to end and go back to reality. As much as I love the idea of being able to use photography as a source of income, I don’t think I can sustain it enough for another year or so. Which means live with my parents for another year (I don’t think so), or get a real job (please, don’t make me do it!!). Hmmph.

Oh, and I still want to see how things turn out with the bucket truck guy. Although if it comes to it, I can do the long-distance thing just as easily from Denver as I can Flagstaff. So I’m going to make that a non-issue.

Being back in Denver this weekend just made me miss all my friends that much more, since I have hardly seen any of them this summer. One of my friends walked up to me on Sunday, and we both just starting bawling. Her husband looked at us like we were both nuts.

So I’m ready and I’m not. I look forward to the change some days, and others, I just want to run hide in my vacation mindset and see where the wind blows us next.